Topics - Insights - Practices

I Hate Small Talk - So How Can I do it? 02.08.2018

I hear this statement several times a week.  An individual will higher me to help them improve their ability to communicate and work closer with their business partners.  They will proclaim their need to be more connected with people so they can best lead, manage and obtain the targeted results a certain project demands.  I will ask them a number of questions to understand who they are, what drives them and where they want to be. 

 When we both come to a central understanding of where they are and where they need to be, I come up with a "Target List" of learning goals. For some reason people will tell me that they hate small talk. 

 I can understand this (to a degree).

• Small talk appears to be random as opposed to a business meeting which is structured. 

• Small talk has the appearence of being inconsequential to the outcome of business goals and targets - equal to time wasted sitting in traffic trying to get to an important meeting as one client explained to me. 

• Small talk appears to be "fake." Nobody really cares, because we are here to grow a business, not make freinds. 

I am not going to debate the pro´s and con´s of small talk, but I will provide you with some tools which will improve your ability to participate in the art of small talk which you may dispise.  This will provide you with a direction and a tool. 

Not having a base level ability to engage in small talk is like not paying your taxes on time...you will have invest more time and money in the very thing you are trying to do less of. 

Small Talk Cheat 1:  Small talk is about you getting the others to speak - not you.

Getting the others to talk has two vital benefits.  The first being, you dont have to come up with things to say.  You give people the chance to express positives, negatives and insights to things that matter to them.  You can ask a question, nod and drop a comment when appropriate. 

The second benefit is that people love to talk about themselves.  If people come accross someone who asks them questions and actually listens to their answers, they feel a sense of connection and attraction to that person. 

So you hate making small talk - awesome - talk less and listen, and watch the magic happen.

Small Talk Cheat 2:  Topics of choice

So I get it, small talk is about getting the others to talk...so what topics can I ask about to get them talking?

Asking questions about people past vacations, and or future travel plans always works.  People love to travel.  In Germany it is a God given right.  Asking about where they just came back from and where they plan on traveling to is pure gold.

If they live in the area, ask them what their favorite resturant is (Every living person loves to eat).

There are an endless number of high value topics.  There is also the way of bringing up these topics that will really have a powerful impact on your ability to connect, lead and succeed. 

Always remeber, the more I talk the faster they walk!

Contact me now if you want to learn how!